A Little Poetry?

While re-reading my last post, I thought about how the feeling of alienation is not new to me.  For whatever reason, some of us, at some point in our life experience this sense of separation from others.  I remembered a poem I wrote in my twenties.  At the risk of sounding new-agey,  cliché-ish, or extremely right-brained, I can honestly say that the poem “came to me.”  I didn’t fully understand what the poem was about and did not title it back then. Now I realize that the most appropriate title for this poem is Alienation.  By the way, I am in no way promoting the state of alienation or suggesting that it’s the place to be.  I simply want to share this poem and dedicate it to those who at one point or another for one reason or another experienced a sense of isolation.  May none of us stay in that state for very long. 

                                    Alienation

                                    by Sonya Doernberg

The struggle with oneself begins

And who can win where no one wins

How can you not feel torn-apart?

When different voices rule your heart

And you don’t know left from right

Thick clouds of fog are in your sight

It makes you want to yell and scream

But nothing can come in-between

You and that ever-lasting fog

And even if they threw a rock

It could not penetrate the wall

You’re separated from it all.

The Rules of Alienation

The Rules of Alienation

Someone else’s dog licked my cell phone today, while I was waiting for my kids in front of the elementary school. The fully-grown golden retriever had no problems reaching the smart phone I clutched in my right hand.   For a second, I though he was going to answer my cell phone.

We recently moved into a small rural area that is somehow magically tucked away from the sprawling, forever-rushing urban metrapolis next door. The town's peacefulness and slower pace were seductive. I've noticed something unusual about our new town, though--it seems to make and break its own rules.  No matter how many reminders the school sends out about the “no dogs on campus” policy, some mothers insist on ruling their universe by continuing to bring dogs to school.   This is the same community that had the Earth Day celebration a week after the fact, because the town hall was booked with some God-knows-what function on the actual day.

Standing in front of the school, I’m surrounded by conversations about play dates, swimming pools, country clubs, etc.  The tight circles of our small town seem impossible for a newcomer like me to penetrate.  Even though I’m surrounded by moms, I feel invisible, as the conversation flows from one established resident to another, somehow making detours to avoid me.  I finally excuse myself from the group I’m next to, pretending to have something on my cell phone that requires my immediate attention.

Oh, yeah, back to the golden retriever who ran up to me only to slobber all over my cell phone.  After a bit of sanitizing, I found it next to impossible to stay angry at him, even though I am not a dog person by any stretch of the imagination.  After all, the golden retriever was being genuinely friendly.  Not something I can say of the moms I was surrounded by.